Snowflake Submerged

Gratitude   Greeting every morning Ready to embrace life - the day- whatever comes. Awake and alive in every sense of the word Thankful that I'm here, taking In each breath - deeply in and out. Today is never promised, so enjoy every one Until you have filled every day with beautiful memories Delight in the small moments because Each of these is what truly matters.      

  Hopefully, you heard that title with this song in your head.  If you haven't heard it, it's a real earworm and I'm sorry in advance.  So, if you have been reading my blog, you know I write here mostly about my battle with anxiety - what works, what doesn't, and what nonsense I'm thinking when I can't battle my way out of my own head. So what exactly does this title mean?  Well, exactly what it says - I like to move it.  Exercise!  When I am exercising, my outlook on life is so much better and I feel healthier just in general.  If you know me at all, you know my favorite ways to exercise are KICKBOXING and swimming.  This past summer, I had an Achilles tendon injury which meant, that in the middle of all this chaos, I was unable to kickbox or swim because I was wearing a boot for 8 weeks.  Even after I finally got it off, I had to cool it on my favorite exercise.  Swimming was ok, but even that took a little while to warm back up to and...

 This is what anxiety covid style looks like anytime I have to go out of my house.  I had to go to the post office today.  It's ok.  I know it will be busy, even first thing, but I'm using the machine so it's all good.  Even so,  I'm anxious as I leave my house because I'm anxious anytime I leave my house.  My house is safe, outside isn't safe.  Other people - even friends - are just potential germ carriers. So I get my stuff together, put my coat on, grab my mask, my hand sanitizer and away we go... I arrive at the post office only to discover that I can't use the machine.  I actually have to go in the god awful line. So now, I'm really anxious because, in addition to being out of the house, I am now doing something unanticipated. Not good. I go to get in line when some woman barges into me, telling me I need to wait outside as she is leaving.  I am unsettled but still manage to get out happy holidays.  I hope it reminds her to be ...

 Every day the night gets a little longer and a little darker.  Every day I hear about more of my fellow Americans dying from a deadly disease.  Just today, a friend lost an ex - 35 and healthy.  She had a heart attack from the strain of the symptoms on her body, lost blood flow and they had to amputate her leg.  She didn't make it anyway.  I'm to the point where I can't watch the news any more because I hear about cases going up, people continuing to be stupid and my heart starts to palpitate and I'm afraid.  Yes, I'm afraid that I will get it but even worse, that my children, my husband or my mother will. I just want to see the other side of this nightmare with all the people I love still hear but I don't know how that happens or what that looks like.  How long can life go on like this?   I worry for friends who live alone.  I'm lucky.  At least I have my family and they are so important and so precious to me. I get to spend ...