Snowflake Submerged

 So, I've been reading this great book called "The United States of Anxiety" by Jen Lancaster.  It has a subtitle, but honestly, if you are searching for it, the above will get you there.  In this book, the author talks about the many things that make Americans anxious, and let's face it, they are different in a lot of cases from the things that impact people in other areas of the world.  At any rate, one of the issues that she was discussing was being anxious about her weight and fat-shaming. I've been a person that has struggled with my weight for all of my adult life. Once I turned 21, my metabolism went to sleep but my eating habits didn't.  It was a recipe for disaster resulting in my weighing 220 pounds by the time I was 45. It wasn't a pretty picture, as the photo below clearly demonstrates: As I was reading the chapter, I thought of the ways that people in my life had fat-shamed me.  But honestly, it isn't just fat-shaming - it's body-shami...

 So what exactly is Baroque music? Baroque is a style of music that was popular from 1600-1750.  This type of music is recommended for people who have anxiety?  Why?  Well, usually baroque music adheres to the 60 beats per minute tenant and this is relevant because this pace can cause the brain to synchronize with the beat, creating alpha brainwaves. These types of brain waves are present when we are calm and relaxed.  Interestingly enough,  some of my favorite composers like Haydn, Bach, and Vivaldi are composers of this particular type of music.  The challenge from my anxiety journal today was to listen to some baroque music and let my mind wander while writing.  The problem is, the music opens up my mind by the page provides itty-bitty little writing space.  It made me feel like Genie in Disney's Aladdin. 0 full of promise with nowhere to go. Then, I remembered that I am, in fact, the author of a blog and I could write my thoughts here whi...

 So, so much happening here in my life.  As I'm sure it has been with all of you.  Uncertainty is a major stressor in the lives of most people and 2020 has dished out more than the usual variety.   Let's start with the obvious of the recent Presidential election.  More than 9 days later and we don't have a confirmed victor and by that, I just mean that the votes haven't been validated.  There is no doubt in my mind that Joe Biden is the new President of the United States and for that, I am eternally grateful.  It will be so nice to have a decent human being in the Oval office again.  That said, January 20th is still some time away and there remains much damage that can, and I'm sure will, be done.   I am anxiously awaiting Inauguration day.  There has been a lot of uncertainty with my job too, which has been wonderful for my anxiety.  The local school board  in their infinite wisdom ( can you smell the sarcasm??)...

 I would be willing to bet that there aren't too many people out there that haven't felt some type of anxiety, especially through the coronacation we are all currently enjoying.  I would think it's normal to worry about what is going on in the world and how it may impact the people we love.  Here's the thing though, people with anxiety can't turn it off.  It's all consuming and so we have to work to rewire our brains to distract them.  Distraction is a HUGE coping mechanism that I use.   As I have been dealing with anxiety,  I've tried many things including medication which didn't work for me, but I know many people that it does help.  If that's you, I'm glad you have found something that helps.  But if you, like me aren't benefitted by medication, I thought I would share some tips and tricks that have worked for me to some degree of success.  I'm still working on it.  Still learning. 1. Learning about my anxiety - the physical...

 Well, that answer is really, really simple friends.  NORMAL.  I want to feel normal.  I want to recognize the world I live in again.  To have some sense that the world isn't crashing down around me while I try to pretend that the whole world isn't burning.   It's so hard feeling like your Atlas trying to hold everything together. I want a country that I can recognize. One where innocent people aren't shot because of the color of their skin,  where women aren't told to "vote as their husband would to live in a godly household",  a place where my children can actually achieve their dreams.  That's the world I used to live in.  And that's the world I'd like my daughter's to have to. I would love to wake up to a world where the leader of the most powerful country on the planet wasn't insane.  Literally insane.  But you know what?  One thing I have learned during all this time is that Donald Trump isn't even the worst of ...

 I started this blog a long time ago, back when my husband was in the Navy as a Submariner.  Back then, the submerged signified my life as a occasionally single mom and all the time Navy wife.  I told him that I was starting up writing again and not just my book blog, but really writing.  He said,  "You aren't submerged anymore...."   But then I thought to myself that there are many ways that a person can be submerged, and if anything, the title fits as much now as it ever has. Welcome to the end of August, 2020.  I don't have to tell you what living now is like, you all are right there with me.  I keep extra masks, hand sanitizers, and chlorox wipes in every car.  My head is on swivel every time a member of my family so much as sniffles.  To say that everyone in the world has their anxiety on high alert is probably an understatement and I guess that isn't that unusual.  But what if you are already an anxious person?  What...